At times like these, when the big things of life are all ferociously mixed up and bewildering, I find it helpful to try and remember what is precious.
Fiercely optimistic and faced with the trashing of everything we think we know, it is my tendency to fight for life. I am pigheaded for joy, in that respect.
In March of this year, I had one last face-to-face conversation with my (precious) studio mates on the day we all said goodbye to each other for an undefined lockdown time. Soulful, clever people I enjoy seeking out, and who I would dearly miss. I shared the idea that this period of time might help us define what’s worth preserving. What it is we’re fighting for. True, plenty at the moment is hard to pin down, and trying to figure it out is exhausting.
Today, this week, I’m making an effort to swing back to my (precious) studio routines. I’m trying to figure out what there is to carry forward, and what I would like to work towards – the same, or different stuff? The ground has been razed and I’m not sure what to focus on first after the obliteration of many things I thought I could rely on.
But the first step is to acknowledge the good things right in front of me. Be here now. Remind myself that being grateful will give me all the perspective I need to keep going. Be thankful for the good that is.
Focusing on ‘precious’ has the effect of hushing the noise. I think we know when we hit on something precious because aggressive or depleting rants disappear. Precious focal points top up the energy again. It may be as simple as reaching out for a simple, steadying candle flame. If you can’t think of anything else (and sometimes I can’t, honestly) then choose some tiny thing in the world that is calm, poised and settled, and gaze on that. Proof. It may be many more complicated things like a cause or a change in the world, but doesn’t have to be.
Even though my grip on this is tenuous, I believe beyond the storm of real loss and grief, a gem will be waiting. A diamond formed from pressure.
Precious pressure.
I am going to keep going and I am figuring out what is worth preserving. I am after my diamond.
And that’s why today’s inky word is ‘precious’.
{Today’s Soundtrack: George Fitzgerald & Boxed In – Full Circle}